Post-Ghost Agression

 

I’ve been in dating sites for years, but when I moved to LA, I found a new culture on dating sites.

Dudes do not give up for anything. They will message you over and over. Wait a month. Message you again.

There are so many people down here. Why do they do this? I have never ever hooked up with a dude who harassed me like that. Aggression reeks of desperation and that makes me feel unsafe. Why are they so desperate? Why won’t anyone else go out with you?

A big group of dudes online, are online because they have no common human decency, they can’t interact with people on a human to human level. Honestly, put them all down.

But some people are just busy, and don’t have other outlets.

I don’t go out on dates with pushy dudes anymore. I state really clearly on my profiles that any sort of expectations are a big turn off. When dudes have expectations, they act really shitty.

Just because I’m a slut doesn’t mean I’ll fuck anybody.

I’m only really down for dudes that can talk about interesting things on their own. That don’t put any pressure on me, and who seem to have decent social skills.

So I’ve been going on less dates, and having less sex. Especially now that my birth control doesn’t cause cramps without sex.

When I first moved down, I figured I’d have some lose relationships, friends with benefits, enough to get my needs met weekly. But it’s super hard to get laid.

There’s an aesthetic that boys are always down for sex, will do anything for sex. They won’t. They need to be seduced too.

Apparently “Get ‘cha dick out.” Isn’t seductive enough. So I guess I’ll just be celibate. Maybe forever.

I just think if dudes want to have sex with me, they should just keep a steady conversation about their hobbies and interests, and ten percent complimenting me. Compliments are important to seduction. Because, if i’m confident enough in myself, I will ask a boy to get his dick out. Eventually I will have a day off. I always chose the guys I’ve been talking to the most, to give my days off to. Which isn’t always the best idea. sometimes I have to chose between three guys and it feels like a probability question. like if threres three red marbles, and two green ones, what is the chance I’ll get dick? 

I hate being a second thought. A text a month after we stopped talking, tells me he’s bored. That he doesn’t have enough going on in his life. And he’s trying to fill it with me.

I’m not filler.

It tells me he can’t keep any other woman’s attention either. That makes me suspicious.

I suggest blocking these types of dudes. It’s one less notification. One less scary idiot to worry about.

This sporadically aggressive dude has somethings to figure out. Don’t be his life coach.

 

***

I think one of the biggest, and hardest parts of self love is remembering to give yourself something to look forward to. When I’m suicidal, I think about the next fun adventure I’ve planned for myself. I think about movies, books and shows I want to see. It’s not always enough, but nothing would be, without it. These things are luxuries. But capitalism can pry them from my cold, dead, dickless hands.