You could be almost 6′ tall with an attitude and at least a semester’s worth of self defense lessons (me), but not everyone is. Not everyone is my size, and not everyone sought out professional training.
The biggest thing I do for my own safety is share my Google Maps location with a ton of my friends and family. That way, if I haven’t messaged them in a few hours, they can still see where I am.
The second thing i do is screenshot the dude’s profile and send it to my friends with all the information I know about them.
The last thing I do is tell my date that I’ve done this. Nobody is going to mess with a girl who has both the intelligence to do these things and is direct and bold enough to tell their date this.
One of my core values is clear and direct communication between both parties. This is for everyone’s safety. So start by telling them, “Six of my friends know where I am, and more have your profile saved.”
Communication is important because most men aren’t trying to have sex at anyone’s expense; they don’t want to ruin their reputation over casual sex. It’s a really fine line they walk, having to make the first move most of the time. They are under constant social pressure to be the aggressors women blatantly fear.
So for the sake of everyone, for the safety of everyone, lets all just be super direct. “We are not having sex, today. that is not on the table.”
“We might have sex today, ask me first before you make any moves.”
“I don’t really like to be touched without a warning or a question, please ask before touching me.”
If you can do me one favor in this life, it would be to kill the flirty “no”. If you say no, mean it. Mean it. And if you hear, “no.” assume they mean it, move on, leave. A no is always a no, no matter what the tone.
These simple little communications are so valuable to both parties, because they set clear boundaries, then everyone can relax and stop sniffing them out and just ask.
As a woman, it’s important to set clear boundaries as soon as possible, and as a man, it’s really important to make the other party feel safe enough to tell you what they want without fear of any pushing or consequence.
Communication, respect, and consent are all super valuable tools when looking for a safe and healthy date.
Even with all my safety tools, being a slut affords you a certain kind of attention. Attention that’s a little hard to turn down sometimes, until it’s too late. I’ve been date raped despite knowing how to communicate, because I was trying to hard to live out my slut aesthetic. I got ahead of myself; I didn’t listen to myself. He didn’t know, and will never know, that I changed my mind at the last minute and it felt dishonest to take it back.
He bought a hotel room for the purpose of having sex. I didn’t understand how much that would influence me. I know what money is worth, and I didn’t want to waste his money. He was an okay dude, I just didn’t know I didn’t want to have sex until the very last minute.
One last safety tip I can offer is don’t let sex and money tangle up. Sex is not a currency. and it shouldn’t be treated as one. Don’t let a partner spend a lot of money on you. Because money can talk louder than you can, at times.
It’s been an influence since it was invented. It’s an incentive. But sex should never feel so pressured. Even in a hook up situation. Consent and communication are important parts to feeling safe when having sex, and it’s important that both parties encourage this behavior.
“It’s all rape and rainbows for women.” — One of my better dates.
Another safety thing I do is, I always drive myself to dates, so I can leave at any time. If you’re driving, you can’t drink, and it’s a good excuse to shut down any pressure to drink, keeping your head clear, and your reactions quick.
(If you want safe sex tips, as well as tips on staying emotionally detached to people you only want to fuck, wait for that blog to come up, soon.)
If we all learn as consenting adults, how to communicate, maybe someday we won’t have to take all these precautions. We can all just have basic human decency, and show respect to each other. Until then, keep your friends close, update your Google Maps, tell people who you’re seeing, drive yourself, and only spend your own money.
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And if you’re in bed, and a man starts to choke you, and he didn’t ask:
The ring finger is the weakest finger
Bend it back for tension, push it to the side to break.
Break his finger, tell him he’s no better than a sawed off table leg, and spit on him as you leave.
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Drink water. Love yourself. Take care of animals and promote wild life ❤ ❤ ❤
Angry Slut Chronicles 